State and Weight

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A year ago, the focus every day was on food. The objective was on increasing intake and variety to achieve regular weight increase. This was immensely challenging, as documented in previous posts. Weight restoration is certainly to be celebrated and we all breathe an enormous sigh of relief when it is attained. We feel a certain lightness of being that we’ve not felt in months.

But we cannot linger in this euphoric state for long. We realize that Lauren has entered a phase of recovery that is another enormous struggle. This is the infamous ‘lag time’ which refers to the period between weight restoration and brain healing. To most people, she seems well. They are clueless as to the daily battles people in recovery from this illness face during this phase. Some days, ED is largely nonexistent. Other times, he appears under a new guise making him difficult to recognize. Then there are times he is destructive, abusive, and frightening. On those days, I am reminded of all the older adults, who never experience freedom from this biological brain disorder. They hang on by a thread. Or they give up the battle.

In this phase we talk about the importance of ‘state, not weight.’ Usually, weight influences the state of mind; a healthy weight correlates with a healthy mind. However, this is not always the case. I’ve seen a decrease in weight and an improvement in mental stability as ED attempts to trick us. We continue to hope and wait for a healthy weight AND a healthy state of mind.

Suddenly, there’s a shift – a breakthrough! It’s been exactly a year since diagnosis and 6-months of weight restoration. Anxiety around food is absent. ED is silent. Lauren’s perseverance pays off and she tastes the sweetness of freedom. Enter the next phase of her journey, as we remain watchful from a distance.

“A strong woman knows she has strength enough for the journey,

but a woman of strength knows it is in the journey where she will become strong.”

~Calming Your Inner Storm