My
silence has been a case of "no news is good news." Aside from the
usual body image issues, which affect most women, ED is absent. In contrast to
his dominance 5 years ago, we rarely mention his name or notice any signs that
he was even part of our lives.
So what
has inspired me to write a new blog after so long? The death of an acquaintance
and colleague. Someone who was slim, but not emaciated. Someone who exuded
happiness - laughing and smiling more than anyone! Someone who shared peach
shortcake with me, and gladly grabbed several cookies when the plate
went by. A capable, beautiful and loving 45-year old, who never told anyone her
dark secret. Haunted by ED, she took her own life tragically and decisively,
and those of us who knew her reeled in disbelief.
Knowledge
of her long illness, at least since college, came to me later. I, of all
people, who is never shocked or surprised by what someone tells me about ED,
was totally floored. Then I remembered that anorexia has the highest mortality rate of psychiatric illnesses because of an elevated incidence of suicide. Overwhelmed by guilt at not having paid more attention to
early warning signs (baby voice, heightened anxiety, difficulty with commitment,
and yes she did suddenly look really thin the last time I saw her), I struggled
to accept her death.
Why am I writing this is in a blog about my daughter? To
remind myself, and those who read this, that early intervention is critically
important for recovery. There are countless happy endings to ED stories, but
people need help and the sooner the better. Her death epitomizes the
devastation and loss caused by evil ED. He seduces and abuses, his advances impossible
to reject, rendering your loved one powerless. Act now – he or she needs your
strength and courage to help them beat this.
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